After the Affair: What Happens Next?

So, who is cheating these days? Statistics on infidelity differ: according to one of the surveys conducted by researchers at the University of Chicago, between 15 and 18 percent of respondents said they had cheated the husband at some point during their marriage.

But when it comes to your partner, it does not matter how many other people suffer the consequences of infidelity: it is the anger, the pain and the fear that you feel the harm is. This applies to an emotional relationship, a romance with the heart or a sexual or sexual relationship.

An emotional relationship with all the signs of infidelity, such as being away from oneself and being separated from your partner, but without sex, can cause a lot of harm that sex can cause, says Stephen Kymons, SJ, PhD, Associate Professor. In the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience at the Loyola University Medical Center and Counselor at the Fahey Center in Maywood, Illinois.

According to Kymons, in today’s world, e-mail, mobile phones, text messages and chat rooms are all ways that people can connect and communicate with others. Email accounts and phone call logs can be easily accessed by peer.

When kufr happens and discovers, it takes a lot of work to offer advice about marriage so that your relationship can be a healthy place again, but you can get there.

Why Cheat Partners?

Perhaps there are many reasons why people cheat because there are couples seeking marriage counseling, says Kymons.

Sometimes disbelief is a symptom of existing relationship problems. When you see a doctor about a physical illness, your doctor asks about your symptoms and is trained to give you a diagnosis. “It’s like a betrayal,” says Kimonos. Infidelity is one of the symptoms and counseling has the task of investigating further to know what relationship problems have led someone to be unfaithful.

This does not mean that the case is justified or that the wife has been deceived is responsible, but trying to reform the marriage involves observing what went wrong, which led to adultery.

“The misconception is that adultery has to do with sex, and I do not think that’s the case,” says Anne Hartleigh, a psychiatrist and director of the Psychotherapy and Marriage Program at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. “The problems usually start in the relationship.”

Here are some reasons why a spouse is unfaithful:

  • The unresolved conflict in the marriage that causes the couple to renounce another person for privacy.
  • Feeling uncomfortable with aging.
  • Sexual dissatisfaction with the couple
  • The difficulty of having intimacy with a partner: a relationship that allows a person to avoid deep intimacy with someone.
  • Boredom in marriage, which leads the couple to justify an issue
  • The pressures of life such as work, financial problems or problems with children make some people seek a way out through an issue
  • Feeling alone or unable to communicate with the husband.
  • Narcissistic partner, and because they think they are not receiving enough attention from their spouse, they are seeking additional attention from another person.

Survivor of Betrayal: Marriage Counseling

Hartlag tends to have a process to heal the relationship after the discovery of infidelity. Couples must work to solve the relationship problems that may have contributed to the problem.

First, there is anger, often accompanied by pain and fear under anger, then there is the task of rebuilding trust, which can take a long time. Hartlig says he worked with a partner who had been together for more than 20 years, and there was an early betrayal of the relationship, but the couple who cheated on him never recovered from the trust.

In addition, your concept of the relationship can be a factor in how to overcome infidelity. “If I understand that you will never be cheated and there will not be a time when you are only the first figure in your life, it is very difficult to heal a breach such as infidelity,” says Kimonos.

He says that no one wants betrayal in the relationship, but when the partner sees the experience as part of the growth process in their relationship, he is more likely to be able to forgive the husband. “It does not mean it’s easy or simple, but with help, you can do it,” Kimonos said.

One thing to consider is whether the case is an isolated incident or part of a pattern. It is harder for a partner to heal when betrayal is a continuing problem.

On the other hand, Hartlig says that the old adage: “Once in a cheat, always a cheat, is not true for everyone.” “Some people were unfaithful, but they worked to reform their marriage and move on without cheating again,” she says.

Couples who make a big mistake go to the counselor as a last resort. If your relationship has been threatened by Kufr, get early marriage counseling, Kimmons suggests. Often, couples want to use the time to solve relationship problems, but they do not know what to do. A marriage counselor can help immediately.

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